The State of MY Union

Today, President Obama will make his State of the Union address, and it got me thinking that maybe it's a good day to check in with y'all about the state of MY Union.  (For those who don't know, my sometimes nickname for the collective consciousness of me and my wormy little fellas is "the Union."  Or "the Legion." Or even "the Army.")

Unlike that other State of the Union, this one will not last days on end, will not be upstaged by the logistics of seating those who disagree with one another side-by-side, and will not once allude to the following terms: "ginned up," "shellacking," or (and this is my favorite) "the American people."  There won't even be a rebuttal statement, official or otherwise, from a perceived rising star among my adversaries.

So settle in...here's the latest.

Things are going not as well as I'd hoped, but certainly not as badly as I feared.  It's been about 2 and a half weeks since I ingested my 1,250 whipworm ova, and ever since, I've felt my symptoms just a little more keenly than before.  That means I'm a little slower to get going in the mornings, my b.m.'s are a little more loose than I'd like, I'm visiting the loo a bit more frequently, and that darned "barbed wire" feeling in my gut is a tad more persistent.  I've had two "urgency emergencies" since I became the Union, neither time a major accident, but anytime you poop in your pants while you're out in public, even just a little bit, it's worth noting.  My appetite has been up and down, with yesterday ending particularly sadly--all I could stomach was some plain white rice. Boo-hoo.

BUT...none of that's so bad, really, if you think about the horror stories I've heard from some people about contracting this parasite.  Unrelenting diarrhea, fever, cramps, etc.  Of course, others report either no symptoms at all or just a few days of them.  So the short answer is, I'm okay--not as bad as some, not as good as others.  Which is just like the course of my disease in general: I don't have it as bad as many, but I'm a little worse off than some.

So again, the key is that we all just keep in mind that I'm on a journey here.  What happens today is not so important on its own; what matters is the role of today's symptoms in a bigger picture, a long-term trend, and a future remission.  So it's okay if I don't feel so great today or even tomorrow, but do I feel a little bit better the next day?  Am I noticing an upward trend compared to last week?  The Union is young, my friends, and there will be trials and tribulations along the way to us becoming a humming, helminthic machine.  So stay tuned.

Other recent observations and realizations:

• Got a bill the other day for my latest Remicade infusion.  Hold onto your seat...My share of the bill is $1,250.  To which I say: F**K!  (er, I mean "Rats!")  Another reminder of just how badly I want to end my relationship with this drug.
• Re-filling my pill tray last week--you know, the kind that older folks use to keep track of their gazillion meds and what time of day they're supposed to take them--I realized that even if/when I drop my UC meds like prednisone and azathioprine, I will still probably be taking a fair number of pills every day to deal with the long-term effects of my disease and those nasty medications.  Calcium, iron, B-complex vitamins, vitamin D, etc. and so forth.  That's kind of a bummer.
• John asked me last night if I felt like the last few months that I haven't been working have helped me deal with my disease and I have to say ABSOLUTELY.  I was so stressed out, I was definitely headed for a health crisis.  Now the trick is to get another job before that lack of employment becomes the stressor that causes a health crisis.  I'm in the "sweet spot" right now where finding work would be a great thing, but it's not immediately dire.  (However, see above about my continuing medical bills!  "Immediately dire" may be just around the corner!)
• Another thing about the work situation: as I think about what to be when I grow up, I've had some serious consideration that maybe I physically cannot handle the kind of job/s I'd like to have.  A lot of the stuff I've either done or have been interested in are high stress, high burn-out positions, and having a disease that is greatly effected by stress may limit my options if I'm really committed to this remission thing.  It's a bitter pill to swallow, that despite what my mom always told me, maybe I can't do anything I set my mind to.
• Good news: I am consistently able to exercise a fair amount without upsetting the Union too much.  I'm walking the dog, logging a few miles on the treadmill, and learning to twist myself into pretzel shapes in yoga class, all without having to make a break for the restroom (usually.)

Stay tuned for more updates on the State of My Union.  I promise that you, "the American people," will be the first to know if my helminths get all "ginned up" about something or other, and I'm looking forward to sharing with you the news that my UC has taken a "shellacking" at the hands (or the whips) of my little wormy friends.  (So sorry about reneging on my promise to not drag these terms into the conversation. Actually, I never intended to leave them out.  Guess I'm more like a politician than I'd like to admit!)

Cheers!!